Coming back to myself.

My name is Tatiana, I am thirty-four years old. I’m not married and have no children, but I have a dog with crazy energy :) I am independent, strong, gregarious, and self-sufficient, like most single women from the post-Soviet states. I have lived in Europe for many years, I have a demanding but well paid job. I see my mom and brother once or twice a year; we really get along. I do not have a good relationship with my dad (classic! :)).

This was my second attempt to get help from a psychologist. The first one did not bring good results after two years of counseling.

Fate brought me to Catherine. At some point, I just called her because I realized that I was in a deep emotional hole and could not get out. I always solved my problems myself; in addition to that, my work has to do with helping people. There are psychologists and social workers in the team I am in charge of, so I realized that I needed a professional who would guide me in the right direction. I was physically and emotionally exhausted; I could not get out of the relationship with an abuser, and I was suffering from complete emotional burnout. When I decided to see a psychologist I also needed help from a psychiatrist: I had panic attacks and constant insomnia. I was suffering from mood swings and experienced a strange attachment to a man who was only hurting me. I decided I wasn't going to let myself be bullied anymore, but blamed myself for being weak, not coping, etc. I generally liked to talk to myself like a strict, controlling, and almost abusive parent. Because I grew up in a society where I had to be good for everyone, please everyone, and basically be my own parent.

I decided to trust the experts, and it was the best thing I could ever do for myself. Catherine tactfully and gently showed me how to take care of myself, she taught me to pay attention to how I talk to myself. I absolutely did not know how to rest, relax, listen to myself and treat myself with care and understanding, even though I was doing all of this for others. I learned how to breathe, slow down and finally pay attention to the most precious person in my life - myself!

It was as if we were going through the stages of growing up together and, most importantly, nurturing self-love - for which I am especially grateful. Because I finally met the real me - at the age of thirty-three.

It is not a coincidence that the age of thirty-three years is considered to be the year of transformation and the age of Christ. I experienced that myself, and I am grateful that I did not go through it on my own, but with the help of psychotherapy. They say that there are two important moments in life - the first is when we are born, and the second is when we understand why.

I believe that, thanks to a year and a half that I spent with Catherine, I finally truly met and found the real me. She helped me understand my triggers and traumas; I figured out how they impacted my life and why I tended to choose certain types of people, why I used to fall into codependency in relationships, why I was afraid of conflicts, and so much more. For the first time someone helped me to see things in a new light and be honest with myself, to understand what was really bothering me all these years, and why. Thanks to the constant interactive work, it didn't take long for me to make progress. I have a better understanding of myself and my emotions, of what I want..... All of this helped me set goals and find answers coming from within; I learned how to acknowledge my feelings instead of rationalizing

I don't scold myself anymore, I don't bully myself, I don't force myself, and I don't mentally abuse myself. I love myself! :)

It really upset me to realize that I treated myself so poorly and didn't hear my inner child, I was afraid to be real.

Psychotherapy is the best gift you can give yourself. It will save you from doubts, hesitation, and may even improve your health, because during the consultations we were discussing how the body may react to certain emotions or to suppressed feelings. Catherine is a real doctor for your soul! It seems to me that just talking to her has a therapeutic effect; her kindness heals.

"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you; For everyone that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth, and to him that knocketh it shall be opened."