A few words about myself: my name is Nika, I am 34 years old. At the moment, I have a high school diploma (I also plan to study further). I live in Greece.

I was born and grew up in one of the Soviet republics. In the nineties there was hunger and poverty; actually, the situation is not very different there now, especially if we talk about the way of thinking (rigid upbringing), like in the Soviet era.
I grew up in a small family; there were three of us: me, my little brother, and my mom.

I did not have a father, so mom had to parent for both. She was spending most of her time trying to make more money in order to get us fed and clothed; she did not have time to think about other things related to raising a child. She herself did not get much love from her parents growing up; she didn't know how to give us that love, didn't understand how to do it. Although she worked all the time, we were growing up in poverty and lived in harsh conditions (at least I felt like that). Taking care of my brother, cleanliness and order in the house, lessons and homework, - those were my responsibilities, for many years. As the oldest, I was being punished all the time, with and without reasons. My mother used corporal punishment, and it was very hard for me. Years passed, psychological complexes and resentments multiplied; I was yearning for love, understanding, affection; I wanted to get rid of everything that caused pain.

At the age of 16 I ran away from home and went abroad to work illegally (the oldest profession in the world). I went through a lot; I had many good and bad experiences, but it gave me one benefit: my mother's behavior changed. Three years later I returned home after a deportation.

During my life I often met people who said that I was a very talented and charismatic person. Probably, I could have built a great career and become successful if I could return to that time - to the time when I was 19... However, after considering the cultural differences, the financial situation of the country where I lived (Former Soviet republic in Asia), and my family situation, I went abroad again in a short while - this time, to Greece, choosing the familiar trade.

At the moment, I have been living here in Greece for almost 15 years; I am still doing the same thing, but I am already preparing myself for a different life. During all these years, I had time to try living in a couple of other countries; I had several boyfriends/"companions" (of different nationalities). Our relationships were not successful because they were built on the principle of "rescuer - victim”; several times, I was basically paying for their "love" and was paying all the bills. Now I realize that I did everything wrong, that I made so many mistakes... I understand now the importance of how a person has been raised by parents. I understand that I basically have nothing in that area - a huge gap, a big nothing. I was trying to patch up that gap by trying to find a safe, warm, and cozy place, looking for that someone who would care for me. While I was searching for love, I had a daughter (I will skip that whole story, there is so much I could have written about it). To sum up - my daughter lives with my mother at the moment, and I fully support them both. Thank God, I had enough sense not to mess this up...

So, in pursuit of Happiness, I met a man, a Greek man. After some time it turned out that he had paranoia (at that time I didn't know what it was). The relationship dragged on for 8 long years (!) and followed the usual scenario, but he was also really abusive and a narcissist.

At first, everything was "good" (now I realize: it was really bad!), and every year it was getting worse and worse. My intuition told me that it was time to leave, to stop, but I couldn't.
The last year with him was hell, which prompted me to turn to a psychologist. I found Katerina on Google. After reading the reviews on her website, I took the first step - I scheduled an appointment.

At our first meeting, with my permission, she kept writing something down on a piece of paper, asking me questions, and at the end, without sharing her thoughts or conclusions with me, she gave me a small task (she asked me to think about something). It was strange for me: I didn't fully understand yet whether I wanted to go on with therapy; I came to her with one problem, and it seemed to me at that time that we did not even discuss that problem at all. We were mostly concentrating on me. But I said to myself: "I'll continue, we'll see”.

So, meeting after meeting, step by step, I started noticing that, when working on myself, I was gradually changing, I was getting better. It was an interesting and exciting process. Katerina became a sort of a "parent" for me. Like the saying goes, your parents are the people who raised you; Katerina initially nurtured the seeds in me, gave me the basics, and taught me to understand "what is good and what is bad". This was an important process for me, which later became a strong foundation of my character.

Sometimes I behaved and felt like a little child in spite of being 34 years old. Sometimes I was cranky, sometimes I argued, sometimes I did the opposite of what she told me; sometimes I did not have time to prepare for our meetings, but - a big Bravo to Katerina! - she always was able to guide the situation in the right direction, whatever I did; somehow, everything would just settle down and fall into place. I felt very comfortable working with her: there was a sense of help, support and understanding.

After a few months, the result of our work was as follows:

I learned to understand my emotions, to hear and forgive myself, to respect and stand up for myself, to appreciate and love myself for what I am. I also began to feel more realistic about the future and to see the situation as a whole, with all its pros and cons, to be more punctual, persistent and principled.

As for actual actions - I broke up with my boyfriend who, I realized, was a sick person (it happened after 8 years of being in a toxic and addictive relationship). This time, it was relatively easy for me to do (I had made millions of unsuccessful attempts before!). I finally left him and moved to another apartment. A little bit later, I began to study the Greek language, and now I am preparing to take the exams and obtain the completion certificate (after that I will be able to apply to college).

I sorted out my negative feelings towards my mom, and now I don't look for motherly love in my relationships; I learned how to view things as an adult. I now allow myself to have days off, and I try to go out and have fun more often (in the past, I was only focused on earning money and almost never did anything other than "work"). Now, I started to encourage myself to develop and grow, and I celebrate taking first steps towards my goals.

My plans for the future: to get a college degree, to get a normal, good job; of course I want to have a family and have my daughter move in with me.

And the cherry on the cake is that I want to be baptized. I thought about it many times when talking to Katerina. I realized that my soul calls and asks me to become one with God. I used to feel this sometimes - I used to cry when I went to church, but I had no idea why, those were strange tears. But I still kept going to church... something very important was missing, and what and who was missing finally became clear for me.

And last but not least: for me, Katerina became a "parent", a mentor, a guide for my heart. I will always remember her fondly, I will miss her, but now I know that I can definitely be my own mother, my own friend and sometimes - a loved child. I learned it all from Katerina. And now I am grateful to God for not letting me get addicted to drugs, to find myself among criminals, or even worse - to work for them, to become an alcoholic, to wander who knows where, to get into slavery... I am grateful that God gave me health, strength of mind and spirit, enough common sense, and finally, let me meet a person who helped me and gave me so much.

I recently read somewhere: "Properly sown seeds give fruitful sprouts" - that is definitely about me. My head in the clouds, feeling like a kid in the body of an adult, I was looking for a solution to my relationship problems... I was looking in the wrong place. But when I started working with a psychologist, I found my personal space, my “field.” I met a person who helped me prepare the soil and sow the seeds that are already bearing fruit.