My name is Marina. Three years ago I moved to another country and after a year and a half after that, I felt that something was wrong.
The first stress of the move had already passed, there were no strong shocks, but I felt as if I was lost. There was nothing to complain about, but it was just bad. At any failure, even the smallest one, I called myself a fool, ate my worries and did not understand why it was so.
Earlier I had a positive experience with a psychologist. Then I began to better understand the origins of my problems and learned to recognize my feelings. But the meetings dragged on and eventually became like complaining to a girlfriend, and the constant digging into the past and whining did not help in the present.
When it became difficult for me again, I had the sensible idea to turn to a specialist, but I did not know where to start looking, because I was very afraid that the process would drag on for years again. Besides, at that time I was already living in an English-speaking country, and I wanted to find a Russian-speaking psychologist.
Ekaterina was recommended to me by a friend. From the very first meeting I liked the format of her work: she responded to my problems not as a friend, but as a professional. But not a faceless "Freud" listening to me with a smart look, but a living person with whom I managed to build a safe space for communication. We had a "connection", managed to find common ground and create a relationship in which there was heart-to-heart communication.
I think she managed to find the tools that worked for me. These included a clear plan of work with assignments, interesting articles on the topic of our discussions, and the active use of metaphors, with which I found it easier and more interesting. Most of the work was independent, which helped me to keep the focus on the actual topics and work through them quite quickly and in a versatile way.
I was able to find the attitudes that prevented me from living and created a lot of tension. Before, many common expressions such as "self compassion", "to be kind to yourself" were more examples of abstract media stereotypes. Now these are very useful and realistic ways to help yourself to be yourself, without slipping into some unattainable collective-ideal image from dreams.
During our cooperation, I have realized and accepted what is important for me, learned to better feel my boundaries. Metaphorically, I imagine it as my inner garden, where I grow what I like. It has a fence, so that no one can go there, especially not without an invitation. The most important thing for me was the realization that in order to have good relations with other people, you don't have to merge your garden with their gardens, you don't have to dissolve into them. You can get to know what is growing there, you can touch the boundaries, but you should not pull out all your roses if someone else has cacti.
This garden metaphor has been a great way for me to be in touch with my values and boundaries, allowing myself to be myself and others to be different, that is, different from me. And all of this is possible without drama, relationship breakdown, or total absorption. Balanced focus on my inner world has helped me shift my focus to the present, let go of the past, and not rush into the future with the message of "control everything and everyone!".
I think it's important to not be afraid to ask for help. Even if it seems like there is nothing to complain about, but you are not feeling well. Catherine is a very professional, tactful and sympathetic person who will never judge, will help you to understand yourself better and to outline your development prospects. It is important to put your garden in order and then calmly and confidently say to yourself: "Now I know exactly who I am and where to go from here".