The path to mindfulness.

Today, several months after I finished working with Katerina, I often think of her with warmth and gratitude. The amazing thing is that the results of our communication are still there: many of her words are still echoing in my head, and the accumulated information continues to "settle".

The idea of talking to a psychologist was suggested to me by a friend.

I am 33 years old, I am married and have a child. I have always had a difficult relationship with my mother; as for my husband, there was also some tension and misunderstanding between us. For a long time I felt as if I was caught in the crossfire, torn between two close people. Moments of relative calm were often followed by times when I felt devastated and lost. These changes sometimes resulted in tears of despair and hopelessness, and sometimes in my aggression and outbursts at others.

For me, anxiety and stress levels reached their peak when my husband and I began to discuss a possibility to move to another city.

Obsessive thoughts were swirling around in my head, almost uncontrollably. It felt like running in circles. I felt lost and helpless, and the need to make a decision in a short time only aggravated the situation, depriving me of the ability to think straight.

At some point I decided that talking to a psychologist was the last hope for me. It would not only help me find a way out of this particular situation; it might also help me figure out my relationships with my family members. So I dialed Katerina's number.

I went to the first meeting with a strange attitude. On the one hand, I was hopeful, but at the same time I had doubts and even, to some extent, distrust: I had a certain stereotype in my head about this American "trend" of regularly going to psychologists just to tell them about your problems. I imagined that psychologists are people who are ready to hear about your problems and nod their heads understandingly. At the same time, I had a very vague idea about how a psychologist could really help solve problems.

Nevertheless, realizing that I had nothing to lose, I rang the doorbell.

Katerina immediately made me feel at ease. She was calm, tactful and pleasant to talk to. She listened attentively to my story, occasionally making notes (she had asked my permission to do that beforehand). Katerina turned out to be not only a great professional, but also a truly wonderful person. During our talks I always noticed her sincerity and genuine interest in my experiences.

It was easy to communicate with her because, being a very tactful person, she never once made me feel uncomfortable. On the contrary, I easily shared my thoughts and feelings with her, seeing her understanding and acceptance.

In the course of our work, Katerina sent me links to various articles and videos, which gave me the opportunity to reflect and better understand different issues; that also helped me to realize and get a chance to look at a situation from a different perspective, giving me "questions to think about". I would also like to mention her sense of humor and her ability to convey her thoughts in a clear and accessible form.

For me personally, the fact that Katerina did not know anyone from my circle of friends played a significant role. Unlike friends and relatives, whose opinions and advice were always subjective, her words had a special value for me. She was completely unbiased and was able to see the situation from the outside.

I would like to tell you about one event that really impressed me. For a long time I was feeling depressed about my relationship with my husband. Naturally, I shared all my thoughts and worries with Katerina, who supported me in every possible way and tried to help me. But at a certain stage I realized that I had exhausted all my possibilities in this matter, and it was not getting any better.

The last chance for my husband and myself was to try family counseling with a psychologist. For me, there was no question who we should go to - only Katerina! That's what I told her during one of our meetings. But, to my greatest surprise, my psychologist thanked me for my trust and tactfully but firmly refused to work with us as a couple, explaining the reason for her refusal.

This happened not only because she specialized in individual counseling, but also because in the process of work a certain “psychotherapeutic alliance” takes shape between the psychologist and the client. And if a third participant joins this tandem, he or she may feel like an outsider. Therefore, in order to initially equalize my husband and I in our positions, Katerina, guided by the rules of professional ethics, recommended her colleague, thus proving herself as a person of great integrity and honesty.

As we worked together, I had a feeling that can be compared to a blurred picture that gradually comes into focus and becomes clearer. It was like having an epiphany, seeing things from a different, completely new angle. The people around me, the reasons behind their actions - it all became much clearer.

After having worked with a psychologist, I became more confident; I learned to trust myself, accept my feelings, and not be afraid of them. Things that used to scare me and made me doubt myself are now perceived as something natural, something other people experience too.

Katerina helped me to get rid of the need to conform to the expectations of others, to stop being afraid of being judged for my views and actions.

I learned to understand myself better and, very importantly, I found it easier to formulate and communicate my thoughts to others.

Also, our cooperation helped me get rid of the guilt that I had lived with for so many years.

Perhaps one of the most important moments for me was realizing how important - though not easy - it is to work on myself. This is a process that never stops, and meeting Katerina gave me the motivation to keep moving in this direction on my own.