The path to mindfulness.

Today, several months after I finished working with Katerina, I often think of her with warmth and gratitude. The amazing thing is that the fruits of our communication are still evident to this day: many of her words are still echoing in my head, and the accumulated information continues to "settle".

The idea of consulting a psychologist was suggested to me by a friend.

I am 33 years old, I am married and have a child. It so happened that I had a difficult relationship with my mother, and with my husband was not all smooth. For a long time I was between two fires, torn between two close people. Moments of relative calm were replaced by a state when I felt devastated and lost. These changes sometimes resulted in tears of despair and hopelessness, and sometimes in aggression and outbursts at others.

Anxiety and stress levels reached their peak when the issue of moving to another city with my husband and child loomed on the horizon.

The same thoughts swirled around in my head, almost uncontrollably. It was like running in circles. I was at a complete loss, and the need to make a decision in a short time only aggravated the situation, depriving me of the ability to think straight.

At some point I came to the idea that turning to a psychologist is the last hope for me to find a way out not only of this particular situation, but also of the whole confusion in relations with family members. So I dialed Katerina's number.

I went to the first meeting with a twofold attitude. On the one hand, I was hopeful, but at the same time I had doubts and even, to some extent, distrust: I had a certain stereotype in my head about the "fashion" of Americans regularly going to psychologists as "vests", people who are ready to listen to their problems and give them a sympathetic ear. Americans regularly go to psychologists as "shoulder pads", people who are ready to listen to their problems and nod their heads understandingly. At the same time, I had a vague idea of how this person could really help with solving problems.

Nevertheless, realizing that I had nothing to lose, I pressed the doorbell.

Katerina immediately managed to make me feel at ease. She was calm, tactful and pleasant to talk to. She listened attentively to my story, occasionally making notes (for which she had asked my permission beforehand). Katerina turned out to be not only a professional in her work, but also a wonderful person. In the process of our communication I noticed her sincerity, participation and genuine interest in my experiences.

It was easy to communicate with her because, being a very tactful person, she never once made me feel uncomfortable. On the contrary, I easily shared my thoughts and feelings with her, seeing her understanding and acceptance.

In the course of our work, Katerina sent me links to various articles and videos, which gave me the opportunity to reflect and better understand this or that issue, as well as helped me to realize and get a chance to look at a situation from a different perspective, giving me "questions to think about". I would also like to mention her sense of humor and her ability to convey her thoughts in a clear and accessible form.

For me personally, the fact that Katerina did not know anyone from my neighborhood played a significant role. Unlike friends and relatives, whose opinions and advice were subjective, her words had a special value for me, as a person who was unbiased and saw the situation from the outside.

I would like to tell about one case that made a strong impression on me. For a long time I was depressed by the feeling of dissatisfaction in my relationship with my husband. Naturally, I shared all my thoughts and worries with Katerina, who supported me in every possible way and tried to help me. But at a certain stage I realized that I had exhausted all my possibilities in this matter, and it was not getting any easier.

The last chance was left - to apply together with my husband for family counseling to a psychologist. For me there was no question who to go to - only to Katerina! That's what I told her during our next meeting. How great was my surprise when my psychologist, thanking me for my trust, tactfully but firmly refused to work with us as a couple, explaining the reason for her refusal.

This happened not only because her profile is individual counseling, but also because in the process of work between the psychologist and the client a psychotherapeutic alliance arises. And if a third participant joins this tandem, he or she may feel like an outsider. Therefore, in order to initially equalize my husband and I in our positions, Katerina, guided by the rules of professional ethics, recommended her colleague, thus showing herself as a person of great integrity and honesty.

As we worked together, I had a feeling that can be compared to a blurred picture that gradually comes into focus and becomes clearer. It's like having an epiphany, seeing things from a different, completely new angle. The people around me, the motives behind their actions, it all became clearer.

Thanks to working with a psychologist, I became more confident, learned to trust myself, accept my feelings and not be afraid of them. What used to scare me and make me doubt my adequacy is now perceived as something natural and not alien to other people.

Katerina helped me to get rid of the need to conform to the expectations of others, to stop being afraid of being judged for my views and actions.

I learned to understand myself better and, very importantly, I found it easier to formulate and communicate my thoughts to others.

And also our cooperation helped me to get rid of the guilt that accompanied me for many years.

Perhaps one of the most important moments for me was realizing how important - though not easy - it is to work on myself. This is a process that never stops, and meeting Katerina gave me the impetus to continue to move in this direction on my own.