Cinderella who saved herself

Hello, my name is Natalia. I am 34 years old. I have a higher education in economics. At the moment I work as an administrator in a company providing telecommunication services.

"Cinderella who saved herself..."

So I decided to call my story. Why Cinderella? It was with this idea of my own life that I came to psychologist Ekaterina Thomas. I think this scenario is in most women's minds.

Now (almost 3 years since we first met) I find it both incredible and beautiful WHAT has happened to me in that time.

I can hardly believe in my current life now. And for that I often thank God.

I guess I'll start "from Adam and Eve" :)

Родилась я в обычной советской семье с мамой-диктатором и папой-размазнёй (да простит меня father for these words, but it is a fact...). My childhood was spent under strict control, pressure of my mother and complete indifference of my father, with his periodic uncontrollable outbursts of anger.
I will not go into details now, but the chapter of my childhood and, in principle, living with my parents, I called for myself "Red Terror".....

Needless to say, I grew up a stuttering, insecure (despite the beauty), with a lot of complexes and fears girl. Yes, yes, until the age of 32-33 I lived with the feeling that I was just a defenseless child. Accordingly, many of my deeds were done from the position of a desperate girl.

My brother once said: "I'm surprised you only started stuttering in this family..."
It wasn't the only thing. It was joined by a bunch of diseases on the nervous ground: erosive gastritis, vegeto-vascular dystonia, tonsillitis, arthritis, initial manifestations of varicose veins and constant acute respiratory infections, acute respiratory viral infections and bronchitis, pneumonia and so on. And all this by the age of 20!

As I realize now, it was my body's reaction to my inability to cope with the traumatic circumstances of life. The conditions in which I was formed as a child were not conducive to a healthy attitude towards myself or the world in general. Self-esteem and self-love were out of the question! These words remained just a set of sounds for me until the age of 32....

Naturally, with such a state of mind and health, I made a lot of mistakes. At that moment I didn't think so, I just wanted to "escape" very badly, and I had no idea how. "Escape" became the only solution to the issue, with all its consequences:

1. For example, I married the wrong person. I thought that when I became a wife, I would be happy, that my husband would definitely save me from life's hardships. But in the end I suffered with him for 6 years in marriage, which became a serious test for me.
2. I graduated with a red diploma from a prestigious economic university, receiving an education, which insisted on parents. I worked for several years as an accountant, at an unloved job, serving "labor duty".
3. Most of my life I lived with the desire to die and 2 times came to a suicide attempt (see below for reasons).
4. 90% of my relationships have been tyrannical and dependent. And if they weren't, things still worked out so that I was dumped or the relationship became unbearable.
5. I got "knocked up" at 18 and had an abortion out of fear that my mom would kick me out of the house. I don't know why, but she always told me that if she found out I was pregnant, she would kick me out of the house. It was triply offensive because I was a home girl and I didn't get my first boy until my 1st year of university.
6. In an attempt to find independence, having made an escape, I got into the terrible world of night, gangsters and drugs, having got a job as a dancer in a prestigious club. I didn't go into prostitution, thank God, despite the pressure of the club manager. But I saw a lot of things....

Once when I was working in Portugal they wanted to sell me, but I accidentally found out about it and managed to escape after spending all the money I earned in a few days. Also for illegal work I spent 2 weeks in an Israeli prison (with subsequent deportation and blacklisting for 10 years), feeling the abuse of the female guards, the indifference of the prison doctors and migration officers, and the food was 80% bread and tea.... In addition, all the medicines on which my life depended at the time were taken away from me.

And, of course, the worst thing about night work was the daily forced communication with psychologically unhealthy people (and often even dangerous, including drug addicts, gangsters, etc.).
In general, the attempts to escape were deplorable, each escape from the oppressive situation ended in more defeat and emotional devastation.

At the age of 31, on the verge of nervous exhaustion, still working at night, and seeing no light in my life, I came to see Ekaterina Olegovna. The first meeting seemed quite strange to me. Now I will explain why.

Up to that moment I had already met with psychologists. At the age of 26 I began my search for truth and happiness. Accordingly, for 5 years I have not tried anything else: esotericism in different forms, Tarot cards, runes, astrology, white magic, all kinds of psychological trainings, pickup - technologies. And of course, going to the venerable psychologists-consultants, invariably promising happiness.

Ekaterina Olegovna's approach and behavior were very different from everything I had already seen and known. She listened calmly and attentively, delicately asked clarifying questions, and kept taking notes (of course, having previously obtained my consent). It was unusual - it was the first time in my life that someone listened to me so attentively, showing genuine interest in how I felt and in what, excuse me, "ass" I was in... I felt that she cared, that finally someone really cared and wanted to help me.

At the end of the first meeting, like a doctor, she voiced her summary, my "diagnosis" so to speak.
I was impressed by the way it was said: kindly, calmly, clearly, concisely and without illusions. I understood in what direction I would have to work, what and how I would have to do, it gave me confidence and hope.

For the first time in my life, a psychologist did not make me feel good overnight. For the first time in my life, I realized that in order for me to feel really good, I had to make my own efforts! This is what "hooked" me: she gives me a "rod, not a fish", as previous psychologists had done (thus getting me hooked on endless visits).

That day, thanks to our dialog, I took a sober look at my life, as if I woke up or pulled my head out of some swamp. The first homework assignment was to reflect on one question. I no longer remember what that question was. But I do remember that it seemed completely unrelated to what I had come to the appointment with. It threw me into a kind of confusion. Having read my confusion, Ekaterina Olegovna gently said: "You just think about it, and then tell me your opinion about it, we will have something to discuss".

After a few days of pondering, I realized that this very question was most directly related to the way out of the situation! Eureka! The beauty of it was that I HAD come to the right conclusion, and not someone had "instilled something useful" in me. In this case, I didn't need to memorize miracle mantras and do complicated rituals, asking the Universe.
I just UNDERSTOOD!

We continued subsequent meetings in the same way. Each time I received creative homework assignments, fascinating mini-studies, questions, the answers to which we then vividly discussed.

Sometimes Ekaterina Olegovna recommended articles and books that enriched my vision of the processes occurring in my life at different stages of psychotherapy.
I was very happy that I was gradually making my own discoveries, coming to conscious and mature conclusions. It was encouraging, I began to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

That's how I learned to think for myself. I enjoyed looking for clues, finding the true essence of things, people and their behavior. And, as you know, thoughts are followed by actions.
Of course, I was still scared to do something on my own, being alone in a foreign country for only 1,5 years. However, my psychologist always encouraged me, basing her conversations on the undeniable facts of my past experiences and character traits. I began to understand myself better, finally getting to know and befriend myself, which gave me confidence.

I was also impressed by Ekaterina Olegovna's sincerity. She always speaks frankly. For example, when I started asking questions about spiritual development, she honestly said: "But these questions will be better answered by a person who has received education in this area and devotes his life to serving God and people. We have similar, but still different fields of work. After some time of searching in this direction, I met an amazing Greek bishop who became my spiritual father. This is how my conscious journey of faith began. I was gradually gaining a foothold in myself and in something higher, hitherto almost unknown.

Long or short, but after 7 months since my first visit to Ekaterina Olegovna, having done a tremendous amount of work, I found the strength to leave the nightclub and officially got a full-time job in a good company, where my knowledge of languages, IT technologies and education were in demand. It is quite a prestigious job that makes me feel more confident in Greek society.

After 1 year 3 months, I got out of a toxic and addictive relationship with a former "friend" and finally loved myself. Since then, I prefer to build psychologically healthy relationships where I can be myself.

Many of the illnesses I had simply disappeared. And the ones that remain make themselves known much less frequently. I started to look much better. As they say, "all illnesses come from nerves".

After another 4 months I started the paperwork to enter the university. Finally, I will get the profession that I have consciously chosen myself! And here again I thank Ekaterina Olegovna for cheering me up at the right moment and for giving me the idea in the first place.
If it were not for her, I would still be rotting in a strip club, where degradation often borders on madness....

Thank God, there are people in my life whose contribution to me and my destiny is undeniable: Father Georgios and my psychologist, Catherine Thomas.

Thanks to them, I realized what it means to love and respect myself, how to manage my life, how to accept the world, people and adversity, how to look for support within myself, how to be internally free, how to enjoy my own society, how to understand and communicate with people. And most importantly, how to help yourself when no one is around.

I finally matured internally and learned to live on my own, without equating self-sufficiency and loneliness. And there is no need to look for eternal "rescuers" in the face of dubious "princes"...just a poor Cinderella victim is no more!
She is replaced by a mature, self-respecting young woman who values herself, who relies in life on serious values and her own choice.